Friday, July 3, 2009

What Are You Planning?

During the course of normal parenting, have you started to keep a list of the things you will do someday when you are visiting your then-adult children's homes?

I must admit that I have started to make plans. Here are some of them...

  • Make sure to tell them that I don't like what they cooked.

  • Leave my shoes everywhere.

  • Change my clothes multiple times.

  • Look in a totally different direction when they are talking to me.

  • Tell them that I no longer like to eat _____, even though I have already eaten half of what was given to me.

  • Carry dry, crumbling leaves into the house.

  • Leave lights on when I leave a room.

  • Leave toilet paper holders empty.

  • Hide dishes until the dishwasher has been started.

  • Hide clothes or linens until the washer is almost done.

  • Suggest to their children, that they get the shopping cart that looks like a car and is near impossible to drive through the aisles.

  • Eat from their plate and drink from their glass, bottle, water bottle...perhaps leaving a souvenier behind.

  • Leave any kitchen messes or spills just where fate created them.

  • Just after they sit down, I will sit really close to them and roll around on them, making sure to embed my elbow in the most uncomfortable places.

  • Walk in on them in the bathroom and the shower.

  • Make sure I bring my friends Nobody and Somebody with me, because they are the ones that create all the havoc.

  • Start talking to them or singing whenever they pick up the phone.

Well, as I look back over this list, it is apparent that I have thought about this a bit. Now, you know I won't do this stuff...while it may be tempting on that first visit. I will, though, continue to threaten them with such behavior until they adjust their attitude about what I have cooked.

Honestly, as I consider all of these "challenges" to parenting, I am overwhelmed with the appreciation for the blessing of kids. They teach me so much and I know that any inconsistencies that show up in their actions are because their teacher has been inconsistent, ineffective or both. Genesis 33:5 reminds us that children are a gift from God and it is my job to train them up in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). I will continue to do so faithfully, and imperfectly, knowing that when they are old they will not depart from it (as Proverbs 22:6 continues and promises). Secretly, I will also pray that they at least behave proprerly at the homes of others...because I am vain, and that shows they can apply the lessons learned at home. I'll take any signs of progress, people.


Falula said...

Laugh-out-loud ... love this one! But you know, I might actually do this stuff to adult Jake.

Tracey said...

Did you have any to add to the list, Falula?