I must admit that I have started to make plans. Here are some of them...
- Make sure to tell them that I don't like what they cooked.
- Leave my shoes everywhere.
- Change my clothes multiple times.
- Look in a totally different direction when they are talking to me.
- Tell them that I no longer like to eat _____, even though I have already eaten half of what was given to me.
- Carry dry, crumbling leaves into the house.
- Leave lights on when I leave a room.
- Leave toilet paper holders empty.
- Hide dishes until the dishwasher has been started.
- Hide clothes or linens until the washer is almost done.
- Suggest to their children, that they get the shopping cart that looks like a car and is near impossible to drive through the aisles.
- Eat from their plate and drink from their glass, bottle, water bottle...perhaps leaving a souvenier behind.
- Leave any kitchen messes or spills just where fate created them.
- Just after they sit down, I will sit really close to them and roll around on them, making sure to embed my elbow in the most uncomfortable places.
- Walk in on them in the bathroom and the shower.
- Make sure I bring my friends Nobody and Somebody with me, because they are the ones that create all the havoc.
- Start talking to them or singing whenever they pick up the phone.
Well, as I look back over this list, it is apparent that I have thought about this a bit. Now, you know I won't do this stuff...while it may be tempting on that first visit. I will, though, continue to threaten them with such behavior until they adjust their attitude about what I have cooked.
Honestly, as I consider all of these "challenges" to parenting, I am overwhelmed with the appreciation for the blessing of kids. They teach me so much and I know that any inconsistencies that show up in their actions are because their teacher has been inconsistent, ineffective or both. Genesis 33:5 reminds us that children are a gift from God and it is my job to train them up in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). I will continue to do so faithfully, and imperfectly, knowing that when they are old they will not depart from it (as Proverbs 22:6 continues and promises). Secretly, I will also pray that they at least behave proprerly at the homes of others...because I am vain, and that shows they can apply the lessons learned at home. I'll take any signs of progress, people.