Photo of the Day...8/22/12..."Home"

Last night, before falling sleep, I was contemplating today's inspiration for the Photo of the Day challenge..."Home".  My thoughts ran all over the place...

• The theological aspect..."going home" after this earthly life passes
• Is "home" where I grew up?
• Is "home" just the literal location of where I live now?
• Is there an analogy to the "home" key on my keyboard?
• What about the "home" plate?
• "Home"-field advantage?
• My love for being a "home"body

And then it was settled...while I do look forward to an eternal life of being "home" with my Creator...a close second has to be being "home" with the most important person in my life...my husband.  And that is the perspective I can share now...because I have no idea what my eternal "home" will be like.  

"Home" isn't where we live.  For me, home is wherever he is.  Home isn't even dependent upon where my children are...because they will all leave me someday...but he will still be with me.  And "home" isn't a place, but a peace.  "Home" is a haven...unconditional love...acceptance...shelter from the cruelty of the world.  He has seen me at my worst...and has certainly been responsible for bringing out my best.  I've said it before...and I'll say it again (trust me)...he isn't perfect...I'm not perfect...but we're perfect for one another, as planned by our Creator.  And I am most at "home" whenever and wherever I am with him.

For more info on the Photo of the Day challenge, go here.

Photo of the Day...8/21/12..."Cool"

You know what's cool? Technology!! This week my 12 year old is in San Diego with her grandma, visiting family.  Yesterday, she visited a surf museum and was able to see the surfboard that Bethany Hamilton was riding when she was attacked by a shark.  Since seeing the movie, Soul Surfer, Rachael has read the book and anything else she can get her hands on about Bethany, surfing and sharks...so this was a thrill for her to see.  And, because of technology, my sister sent me a picture of the moment.  And today...thanks to technology...I'm receiving regular pictures from Rachael's first-ever surf lesson and experience.  Yep...technology is cool.

You know what else is cool...my parents...because today marks their 47th wedding anniversary.  Yep...that's cool too.

For more info on the Photo of the Day challenge, go here.

Photo of the Day...8/10/12..."Ring"

We have been camping a lot already this summer...loads of time at the beach...and this is my favorite tan line...the one made by my wedding ring.  Next month, we will be celebrating our twentieth wedding anniversary...and I'm already looking forward to the next twenty.  We had made a commitment to one another, for better or worse...and every day has fallen into one of those two categories.  And our commitment remains.  Marriage takes work...and it is worth it.  He isn't perfect.  I'm certainly not perfect.  But God made us perfect for each other.

Side note:  In this picture, my hand kind of looks like it is becoming webbed.  As I said...we've spent lots of time at the beach.

For more information on the photo of the day challenge, go here.

Example

As my 11 year old daughter wrapped up her fourth and final year with the Upward cheerleading program at a local church, I was reminded of the importance of example.  Through the weeks of practice and performance, Rachael found herself assigned the spot that was front and center of the entire squad.  From this position, she only had one person that was in her line of vision...the head coach who had choreographed the routines and performed them the best.  Rachael couldn't see the younger members who may have been struggling to keep pace or the girls who may not have been giving their best effort, thus preventing Rachael from developing any excuse for cutting her own efforts some slack.  She could only see the best in the room.  The result?  At the last practice and performance, wanting to see what the spectators saw when they watched the squad perform their halftime dance, the coaches told the girls that they weren't going to dance with them.  But, if they got lost in the routine, to look to Rachael because she knew it.

I once heard a speaker say that example is not the main thing, it's the only thing.  And this recent experience gave me reason to pause and audit the list of those that I allow to influence and teach me in my various roles of a woman of faith, a wife, a mom, a teacher, a leader, a friend.  Who is in my line of vision as I practice and perform?  I am blessed by the people that God has placed in my life.  I am surrounded by wonderful examples in my family, friends, church and homeschool community.  But I also have to watch my influences when I'm not learning in the shadows of these people...what am I watching, what am I reading, who am I listening to?  Do I invite in any examples that allow me to lower my standards for myself (i.e. "well, at least I'm not that bad compared to...")? And, as I raise three young ladies, what example am I providing?  I'm certainly not perfect in all that I do, but what am I teaching in my response to those moments, too?

I'm so grateful for Rachael's experience.  It taught her to always seek the best when learning something new.  She also learned that she will be called upon to be an example and leader.  I'm also grateful for the refresher course it has provided me on the importance of example.  My hope and prayer is that I can always be mindful of whom I am watching to learn the "routine" of my roles...and that my daughters, and anyone else who has me in their line of vision, can look to me when they forget the next move in the performance, because I know it.

One Reason He's Lucky To Have Me

I grilled burgers tonight for dinner...and I stuffed them with blue cheese first.  I took a bite of my sandwich before the Hero had even finished piling his with fixings.  I went ahead and said a preemptive "You're very welcome"...because I knew he was going to be very thankful.

What Do They See?

I'm sitting at the 11-year-old's first Upward cheerleading practice, reading "The Help" on my Nook.  As practice approaches its end, I started to close my reader down when I see the drawing below.  It was composed by our 6-year-old and given to me as a gift...a portrait of her dad and I. As we look forward to celebrating our twentieth wedding anniversary this year, I am thankful that this is how my daughters see us.
P.S. Never mind the big panda staring from behind us.

He Made Me Cry

Now, before you get all mad at him, please let me explain...

Yesterday, marked our eighteenth wedding anniversary. And, normally, my husband's more practical side is employed...whether it is a special occasion or a plain old ordinary Wednesday. He is an "Acts of Service" kind of guy (Have you read Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman yet? If your answer is no, then stop reading this and go to your favorite book selling website right now and order it...then come back.). He shows he cares by working hard for you, bringing home the bacon, taking out the garbage, organizing the fridge...and on and on. He doesn't care to go gift shopping and usually assigns any research/planning/arranging to his secretary...who would be me. Now, that doesn't mean that he isn't up for any celebrating...it just isn't usually a surprise. He did spring one on my twenty-first birthday...he arranged to have fresh cut red roses delivered to me...at a campground, to the back of the pickup truck I was sleeping in while on a canoe trip. So, I knew he had it in him...that was before the internet even existed. And, while there have been little surprises along the way, nothing that has required the type of planning and orchestrating that that act and his scheme he fulfilled yesterday did.

We were scheduled to be in Milwaukee for the weekend. A few months back, I had tossed up the suggestion that we stop in Chicago on the way home for the night, since our return fell on our anniversary. He wasn't really interested. So, I figured we would probably just grab dinner out some night after we had gotten home.

We hit the road mid-afternoon. I did try one last time to score some Chicago time by mentioning the Cheesecake Factory...but he wanted to get THROUGH Chicago and eat after we got into Michigan. So, that was the plan I was operating under...wondering what kind of paper my dinner would be wrapped in.

It was a beautiful afternoon for a drive...we slipped into southwestern Michigan in the early evening. We weren't too far into the mitten before he pulled off the highway without saying a word. I knew the fuel was fine, so I figured this was a bathroom break since he had not even mentioned eating yet. But he turned away from the gas stations and fast food restaurants and headed into farm country. He drove purposefully...taking turns as though he had already been on this journey. The drive was beautiful...green...rolling hills...trees changing color...the sun going down. But I had no idea where we were going...I even joked about texting my mom so that she would have my last known location when she called the police...after all, we were way out there. After driving for 10 minutes or so, he turned into the drive of the Tabor Hill Winery and Restaurant. I'm sure I looked dumbfounded. I asked him what was going on. He then explained that he had been working on a plan for weeks to find an exceptional restaurant, off the beaten path. He had studied the map online for days so that he knew the route perfectly. And, since we were at a winery and would probably participate in some tastings, he went ahead and made lodging arrangements nearby...scheming with my mom to keep the kids one more night. And then I cried...because he had gone to all that trouble for me...because he knew that I would love it...because he hid all related stress over a possible blown surprise from me...and because he took care of every last detail (As a melancholy, he is excellent with details...if you don't know what that means then go to your favorite book selling webiste and order Personality Plus by Florence Littauer...and then come back). He made sure every base was covered, even when some events threatened his plan. So, sitting at the perfect table, we enjoyed champagne and some wonderful food...a crabcake appetizer, filet mignon and grilled lobster.


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Completely full and happy, we skipped dessert and went to pick out some artisan chocolates with names like caramel apple, vanilla cupcake and cinnamon roll. We saved most of those for the drive home, enjoying one each half hour, letting the flavors linger.



Such a wonderful memory he created for me...and I am so thankful that he stepped out of his comfort zone to design such an experience for us. Even now as I write this, my eyes tear up a little. So he is still making me cry.

They Got My Back

Well, the birthday celebration rages on...even though the big day was two days ago!!!

Today I want to give thanks for all of the special ladies in my life.

Let me start with my sister. She and I are total BFFs! While it was not always that way (you can read just one incident here), it is that way now. While we live time zones apart, we keep in touch through text messages, pictures on the phone, e-mail, Facebook and good old fashioned phone calls. Every visit is anticipated and relished. We don't necessarily agree with each other on all of life's issues, but we love and respect each other...always willing to listen and learn from each other. Jodi is creative, smart and one of the funniest people I know (second to my dad). (Pssst....don't tell her that I said any of that, ok?)


My two sisters-in-law (or is it sister-in-laws?) are two more special people that I can always count on. While I don't get the chance to spend much time with them, they are always nearby with an e-mail and a prayer. They are quick to send cards and flowers during tough times and I always learn something from them that helps me be a better mom. Remember...they were raised by one of my favorite Titus 2 women!

Then, there are all my sisters (or sistas!) that I'm not related to but could not be closer to. They too have been there in good times and bad. We encourage each other as wives, moms, teachers and followers of Christ. They have character and the courage to live that character out in their daily lives. I appreciate so much their efforts to always be working on themselves and their willingness to serve others.

I am thankful for each and every one of these special women...they have certainly played their part in building this cathedral (she's a brick...howwwse....oops! sorry! could not resist), whether they know it or not.

My Top (Earthly) Priority

As I consider the gifts that God has given to me, I have to start with the my husband. He's my best friend...hero...partner in life. We have known each other for 21 years now (over half my life) and been married for almost 17 of them. We have faced some of life's challenges, learning what each of us was made of. He is a man of integrity, loyal to the end, has an amazing ability to assess a process and immediately formulate improvements/solutions. He is a hard worker, a kid at heart, a man of faith. I learn from him each day and am thrilled that he is the dad to our three beautiful daughters. He may not be perfect, but he is perfect for me...God thought so first!

You can read more about him here and here.

Who Lives in Your House?

I love being a homeschooling mom! The time I get to spend with my three girls is priceless to me. But, as much as I love being with them, there are times when I'm just trying to survive the day and I can get bogged down with the short term vision of parenting. What's the short term vision of parenting? Any practice or method that makes life easier for me or is more convenient... such as lightening up on a discipline issue or letting a behavior or habit slide or not being persistent in training of a life skill. It's at those times, I really need to dig deep and remember the long term vision. These are not just kids living in my house that I need to manage moment-to-moment. These girls are someone's future wife and mom, and I better make sure they are prepared.

In our culture, parents spend a lot of time planning and investing in their kids academic and professional futures. If we provide the right access to some athletic training, maybe they will get a scholarship. If their grades are high enough, perhaps they will be accepted at the right college. If they are in enough extracurricular activities, they will be considered well-rounded by a future admissions board or employer. Now, I am not saying that we shouldn't be concerned about our kids' ability to sustain themselves and their future families financially. I'm not saying they should not be involved in different pursuits. I am pointing out, though, that we parents pile a lot of resources in those areas never wondering if they will be just as prepared to have a happy, healthy marriage or to be a great parent to our future grandchildren.

Let's face it. We have all heard that few people on their deathbed wish they had spent more time working on their job. Instead they think about their relationships...either remembering fondly or drowning in regret. Let's spend as much, if certainly not more, on preparing our kids for the most important earthly relationships they will have as we do on preparing them for a full time job.

How do we prepare them? Well, how are you doing in your marriage? You are their primary example. Would you wish a marriage like yours onto your kids? Well, that's where they are learning what to expect out of marriage. How do you treat your spouse? How is conflict resolved in your house? Does a serving attitude prevail or a selfish one? They should understand that having a great marriage takes work, so that they don't quit when it's not easy. They should understand that their spouse is their teammate, not their support staff. I recommend books such as The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I also have personally enjoyed anything by Elizabeth George -- A Woman After God's Own Heart, A Wife After God's Own Heart, A Mom After God's Own Heart, A Woman's Walk with God. These books will go a long way in giving you a vision of how great marriage can be and some tools on how to get there -- and they have way more useful info than Dr. Phil, Oprah, et al. I know...you don't like to read... or you don't have time to read...or you only like fiction. Isn't the most important earthly relationship you have worth the time invested of getting to understand it better and maybe acquire some insight on how to improve it? If you already have a "good" marriage, don't you want a great one? Don't your kids deserve your efforts at making marriage a priority? What life skills will you be teaching them through your marriage? And, who says you have to devote hours each day reading marriage books? Just spend 15 minutes at a time in it. It will be worth it.

Now, we have the kids enrolled in our own little marriage workshop, preparing them to be great spouses by having front row seats to your wonderful marriage. {Side benefit to all this ("What's in it for me?") -- they will be better prepared to choose great spouses too (aka "in-laws).] Now we have to consider if we have done our job of preparing them to be parents. Again, I ask you how you are doing? Would you want them to treat your grandkids the way you treat your kids? Do you pour time into your kids ... your time ... or keep them so busy with other types of teachers that you don't have a chance to teach your values? Do you teach principles, in word and action and example, holding the bar high for your kids? Do you tolerate bad behavior issues because "it's hard" to be consistent or you are tired? Do you worry about being their friend now ... instead of being their parent? Do your kids know they are a priority or feel like they are a bother? I know that it is a lot of work to be a parent. It takes endurance and vigilance. But take your eyes off the daily grind and recognize that this season in your life is relatively short when considered in the context of your whole life. It will fly by before you know it. Be their parent now ... their friend when they are adults. When the foundation is right, you will get lots of parent-child friendship moments and memories. I recommend any of Dr. James Dobson's books, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes...in You and Your Kids! by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp. (Please see previous paragraph for benefits of reading such books.)

One last tool, the most important, to help you is prayer! Pray when you are tired! Pray for the right words and wisdom! Pray for efforts to be rewarded! Pray that you are acting in accordance to God's will! Pray about everything surrounding your marriage, parenting, home, family! Scripture teaches us that He cares about every minute detail in our lives ... so invite Him in. He will help you in preparing your kids for the blessed life He has designed for them.

Now...if I could just my husband to recognize that his three girls will grow up, date and get married someday...

They Call Him "Hero"

When the door coming from the garage is heard, there is a stampede of "X" chromosomes, accompanied by cheers of "Hero's home!" There is jostling and elbowing to get to him first. I used to have a height advantage, but not anymore, with the tall 10-year-old around. Then we start arguing over who's hero he is -- "He's my hero!" "No, he's my hero!" It always ends with the compromise that we can share him.


Who is he? He's the king of the house, second only to God. He's a total superhero in the eyes of myself and our three daughters. Why such an elevated view of him? Well, he's earned it. Here are just SOME of the reasons, listed in no particular order.

• The girls are convinced that he can fix anything...and I mean anything! I joked recently that he is so handy that he could fix daybreak.
• He's an amazing bug hunter and killer; he will even use his bare hands. I have yet to see a creepy crawlie of any sort that he won't touch or hunt down.
• He can survive with only two pairs of black shoes -- one for dress and the other for business casual. How does he do this?
• He can build the hugest rip-roaring campfires.
• He can put anything back into it's original packaging and still close it.
• And he is fun! He is the best to go to the zoo and an amusement park with you. You will get your money's worth because you will be there when it opens and stay until it closes. You will see everything! And he is as excited as the kids are! He's not too cool to run with the kids to the next ride or to play in the sand at the beach.
• He makes everything an adventure -- have you ever had a luggage cart ride in the hotel? He takes the kids on elevator rides and helps hunt down windows so they can see how high they are.
• He'll eat anything, even if it is presented with the phrase "Now, this is an experiment." I believe he can endure any culinary adventure, at least one time.
• He is willing to finish the rest of your ice cream, regardless of it's condition when passed along.
• He can untangle cords.
• He is patient enough to do anything right so he does not have to do it twice.
• Whatever he is doing -- working, playing, kicking back -- he is 100% engaged.
• He can endure pain and illness like someone immortal. And when you're sick, watch out -- he's quite the dictator in regards to hydration and medicine.
• If the kids have to eat what they don't like, he will eat what he does not like (one of the nice things about being the family cook, is that I only cook what I like :)).
• He always arrives way before "on-time" starts.
• He has this incredible mental processing that is able to assess a situation within seconds of seeing it and develop solutions.
• He will get involved with what interests the kids. For example, "High School Musical 3" -- I'm sure he would have picked another movie if it was to be his choice, but when you have three girls you have to play along.
• When he has free time, it is spent with his family and we know we are his top priority.
• When tough times come, he is a rock.
• He only uses his superpowers for good.

I'll never forget the first time I heard Marrin, our youngest, refer to him as "Hero" as if that was his name. "Can Hero fix this for me?" One sunny afternoon, he was racing the kids up the driveway. When he finished first, Marrin ran up to me cheering "My hero did it!" I love it because she totally gets it!!

Who is your hero? Let him or her know.

He's Been Doubly Good to Me

Tonight I picked the movie. Now, before you expend too much sympathy for my husband, please know that I watch a lot of noble cause-driven warfare movies and sports movies. I have seen so many explosions and flying body parts that . . . I digress.

So, tonight we watched a "romantic comedy". He was a total trooper, too. It really was more of a poignant movie with a few funny parts. It was about a young married couple, of which the husband dies from a terminal illness and the wife must carry on. I must admit that I could never have watched it in a theater. It was hard enough to remain mildly composed in my own living room (I didn't want to freak him out totally). As I dabbed my eyes at the end of the movie (not the first time either), I was pondering why it was so easy to tap those emotions. And it's because I could completely relate to the emotions of that wife because I have had the privilege and blessing of loving someone else and being loved. I get to live out that commitment of "for better or worse" every day -- and every day has fallen into either one category or the other. The reward is how you survived them all together.

There are so many people in our culture searching for that someone to love and to love them and they are driven to make bad choices because of it. They are married multiple times. They place themselves in risky and questionable situations hoping to find "the one". Were we the lucky ones? I don't know how I emerged from the process of finding "the one" without a whole lot of scars, but I'm grateful for where I am now.

It was twenty years ago this past summer that we met. Three kids, a little drama here and there, a couple of homes, handful of cars and jobs later, I totally look forward to growing old together (some days feel like we are speeding towards that :) ). At our wedding, my sister sang an Amy Grant song titled "Doubly Good to You". It still applies today.

Doubly Good to You
If you see the moon, Rising gently on your fields.
If the wind blows softly on your face.
If the sunset lingers, While cathedral bells peal,
And the moon has risen to her place,
You can thank the Father for the things that He has done.
And thank Him for the things He's yet to do.
And if you find a love that's tender, If you find someone who's true,
Then thank the Lord --He's been doubly good to you.

If you look in the mirror,At the end of a hard day,
And you know in your heart you have not lied.
And if you gave love freely,If you earned an honest wage,
And if you've got Jesus by your side,
You can thank the Father for the things that He has done.
And thank Him for the things He's yet to do.
And if you find a love that's tender, If you find someone who's true,
Thank the Lord --He"s been doubly good to you.

You can thank the Father for the things that He has done.
And thank Him for the things He's yet to do.
And if you find a love that's tender, If you find someone who's true,
Thank the Lord --He's been doubly good to you....
Thank the Lord --He's been doubly good to you.