Example

As my 11 year old daughter wrapped up her fourth and final year with the Upward cheerleading program at a local church, I was reminded of the importance of example.  Through the weeks of practice and performance, Rachael found herself assigned the spot that was front and center of the entire squad.  From this position, she only had one person that was in her line of vision...the head coach who had choreographed the routines and performed them the best.  Rachael couldn't see the younger members who may have been struggling to keep pace or the girls who may not have been giving their best effort, thus preventing Rachael from developing any excuse for cutting her own efforts some slack.  She could only see the best in the room.  The result?  At the last practice and performance, wanting to see what the spectators saw when they watched the squad perform their halftime dance, the coaches told the girls that they weren't going to dance with them.  But, if they got lost in the routine, to look to Rachael because she knew it.

I once heard a speaker say that example is not the main thing, it's the only thing.  And this recent experience gave me reason to pause and audit the list of those that I allow to influence and teach me in my various roles of a woman of faith, a wife, a mom, a teacher, a leader, a friend.  Who is in my line of vision as I practice and perform?  I am blessed by the people that God has placed in my life.  I am surrounded by wonderful examples in my family, friends, church and homeschool community.  But I also have to watch my influences when I'm not learning in the shadows of these people...what am I watching, what am I reading, who am I listening to?  Do I invite in any examples that allow me to lower my standards for myself (i.e. "well, at least I'm not that bad compared to...")? And, as I raise three young ladies, what example am I providing?  I'm certainly not perfect in all that I do, but what am I teaching in my response to those moments, too?

I'm so grateful for Rachael's experience.  It taught her to always seek the best when learning something new.  She also learned that she will be called upon to be an example and leader.  I'm also grateful for the refresher course it has provided me on the importance of example.  My hope and prayer is that I can always be mindful of whom I am watching to learn the "routine" of my roles...and that my daughters, and anyone else who has me in their line of vision, can look to me when they forget the next move in the performance, because I know it.

Who Am I Reflecting?

I was humbled, and a bit nauseous, to be asked to speak at our church's annual Mother and Daughter banquet over Mother's Day weekend. In the days following the event, I was asked to make my message available to those who were not able to attend. So, what follows is the text of my talk. I have edited it a bit because writing for what is read is a little different than writing for what is said. I also removed some of my opening comments of thanks to many. Their omission here is in no way reflective of a diminished appreciation for all that were mentioned. Please forgive the liberties I've taken when personalizing the Bible verses shared.

As I prepared for this evening, I started with our key verse for tonight…Proverbs 31:30. I must confess that my first thought was “Oh no!! Not that Proverbs 31 chick! She has it all together! She gets up early and stays up late! She’s never idle or doing anything that is non-value added! She manages her home perfectly and manages to add to her family’s finances…while my home is…let’s just say less than perfect… and I get overwhelmed by couponing. And, I love to take naps. No naps mentioned in all of Proverbs 31.” But she is mentioned in the Bible for a reason. She’s not perfect…only one person mentioned in the Bible is…and she’s not Him. So, if that lady can get it all pulled together, then, with God’s help, so can I. It’s interesting to note how her story is presented in the Bible. It runs for 22 verses, beginning with a description of how virtuous she is and then going on to list all that she accomplishes. Our verse is near the end and it says “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing..." now, as I experience fine lines on my face and shiny metallic hairs growing from my scalp as scars of life lived, I will leave this part of the verse alone. Instead I will focus on the second half of the verse that says "...but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised..” What interests me is that the reason she is who she is is mentioned at the end, when you know it was also prevalent at the beginning and throughout her story. She is someone who “feared the Lord” or, in other words, was in awe of who God is and what He has done. Obviously thankful for this, she is honoring God by blooming where she is planted. And that is our lesson from her--to bloom where we are planted. And how do we get there? Proverbs 3, verses 5 and 6, teaches us to “Trust in the Lord with all our heart, and lean not on our own understanding; In all our ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct our paths.” We can audit ourselves against this superwoman, accounting for our modern times, of course, and then praying to God to reveal our gaps to us and lead us in ways to close those voids. He will be faithful. Matthew 7:7 reminds us that we only need to “Ask, and it will be given to us; seek and we will find; knock, and it will be opened to us.”

You know, if God mentions this Proverbs 31 icon to teach us some lessons, then maybe we can learn from the other women He made sure were included in His love letter to us, the Bible. It’s easy to draw the conclusion from Scripture that women are very special to God. Remember…He made the first man out of dust, (now…just a sidebar…and while I am certainly not referring to my husband, this does explain a lot for the dirt a guy can spread around…doesn’t it, ladies?). Anyway, I digress…He made Adam of dust, but He made the first woman out of flesh and bone. And He could have carried out His sovereign plan for salvation in any way He wanted...and He chose to send Jesus, to be born of a woman. While there is no time to mention all of these historical figures, I would love to mention just a handful.

First, of course, there was Eve…the first wife, the first mom, the first to fail, the first to have a wayward child when you consider the story of Cain and Abel. She had the perfect place to live and a personal relationship with God and still she sinned. Knowing this, we can’t expect much better from ourselves. But, we do have the benefit of learning from Eve’s experience.

Years later, there is the wife of Noah. We don’t know her name, but can’t we learn from her example of the helpmeet designed by God for her husband as he pursued a God-given purpose that no one understood? And here we all are…descended from her through her three sons.

Sarah was the wife of Abraham…advanced in years, God promised Abraham that he and Sarah would have a son. And she doubted…and she tried to control God’s plan by orchestrating her husband having a child with her maidservant. Haven’t we all doubted? Haven’t we all tried to exert our control over life? But God is in control and He was faithful to His promise to Abraham and Sarah, despite her blunders, and He is faithful in His promises to us too in spite of our blunders.

Jochebed was the mother of Moses. She gave birth to him while Israel was enslaved in Egypt, and Egypt, intimidated by the growing nation of Israel, issued an edict that all male babies would be killed. Imagine her faith as she hid him…consider her faith when she placed him in a basket and sent him afloat, to be found by the Egyptian princess. She knew that God was in the business of working miracles and God rewarded her faith. And God will reward ours.

We learn from the story of Rahab that God can use anyone to advance His plan. Rahab was not of God’s chosen people of Israel and, up to the point where she is introduced, she had lived a life of bad choices and sinfulness. And though her knowledge of God was minimal, she knew enough about what He had done for the people of Israel that she was willing to lie to her own people to help the spies sent by Joshua. She placed her faith in God and those spies to save her family during the destruction of Jericho and she was rewarded. She is listed in the the genealogy of Christ, for all of eternity to see, in the Gospel of Matthew. While Rahab’s sins may have been more obvious than ours, we can remember that none of us deserve God’s grace. He is Holy and we are all sinners. But He freely gives it and He can redeem anyone.

The Old Testament is filled with so many more lives that we can learn from…Rebekah and Rachel and their roles as matriarchs of the Jewish nation, Hannah and her faith in God to give her a son, Ruth’s loyalty to her mother-in-law, Esther’s opportunity to save her people…just to name a few.

And when it was time to set His plan for our salvation into motion…to begin fulfilling all those Messianic prophecies…God chose a young woman who was engaged to a righteous man…and burdened her with an out-of-wedlock pregnancy. I’m sure it wasn’t easy, to carry the burden of public ridicule and those quiet whispers too. But she fulfilled her role…one of the most important in history…sustained by faith in God.

Women played an important role in Jesus’ life and ministry. He visited Mary and Martha, whose lives all of us ladies can learn much from. Mary sat at Jesus’ feet learning while Martha worried about how clean her house was and whether everyone’s glass was filled. When Martha complained to Jesus that Mary wasn’t helping, Jesus helped Martha get her priorities straight, teaching that Mary was focused on what was more important. Aren’t all of us convicted by that…focusing on our to-do list before we focus on our relationship with Christ? How much smoother our lives can go if we get our priorities right? The lives of Mary and Martha remind us that there must be faith before there are works….to focus on what Christ did for me because it far outweighs anything I do for Him.

As with the Old Testament, there are many notable women mentioned in the New Testament from whom we can learn. Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well reminds us that our past sins are no indicator of our value to Christ…Mary Magdalene, formerly possessed by demons, remained longer than any other disciple at the cross, was the first to reach His tomb and was the first person who Jesus revealed Himself to following the resurrection. We can all learn from her love for Jesus, recognizing all that He had done for her. Women were very active in the young Christian church following the ascension of Jesus to heaven. The Bible mentions them by name…Dorcas, Lydia, Priscilla and Phoebe…and we all sit here as part of the harvest for the Lord that they had helped plant.

So when I consider all that God has done through these many women…not to mention all of the men of the Bible…how can I not fear the Lord, to esteem Him with reverence and awe because He, the Creator, thought of me before He ever hung the stars. He loved me to plan for my salvation, knowing what a sinner I would be, sending His son to die for me and take my deserved punishment.

The work for my salvation and the salvation of all those who put their faith in Jesus was completed over 2000 years ago through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus…in fact we celebrated all those events in detail just a few weeks ago at Easter. I cannot add to it. As Jesus said just before dying on the cross “It is finished”. But I can give thanks and praise by blooming where I am planted. Our theme for this evening is “Reflections of a Godly Woman”. Who is this ‘godly woman’ reflecting? She is reflecting Jesus, and this is obvious through the fruits of the Spirit evident in her ways.

In his letter to the church at Galatia, the Apostle Paul shares the fruits of the Spirit with us…but only after he reminds us first that the natural inclinations for us all are traits such as idolatry (perhaps of money, celebrity or even our children), hatred, lewdness, selfish ambitions, envy…just to name a few. And I am convicted by those. Selfish ambitions? I want to be the one to eat all of the fries that fall to the bottom of the McDonald’s bag, not sharing with anyone else in the car. I want to be first in line everywhere I go because my time is more important than everyone else’s. And those are things that Jesus would not do, so they are a reflection of the world. If I want to be a godly woman…if I want to reflect Jesus to others, because my life may be the only Bible that someone reads, then I need to always be working on how my life expresses those fruits of the spirit…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. And those are my daily pursuits. Please understand that I am not chatting from a position of mastery over these various attributes. I struggle with each of these in some form daily.

A few years back, I read in a devotional book, that real joy comes from serving Jesus, Others, Yourself...in that order. This has become my mantra. I buy just about anything that I find that says JOY so that I can plaster it around my house. I want it to be a mantra for my girls as they grow to be women of faith, wives and moms themselves. When I don't feel like folding underwear, I can decide whether I want real JOY or martyrdom. And when it's been one of "those" days and I want to run and hide, I can at least focus on serving Jesus...thus serving others (my family) because that is what He wants. This has been such a source of peace for me. It has given me a "true north" when my compass starts pointing at me.

As women, I know we can sometimes get to the end of the day and wonder "what did I accomplish?" or "in the grand scheme of things, did my day really matter?" I was an engineer. I was responsible for the design, build and installation of assembly equipment for waterproof rod-heated exhaust oxygen sensors. I helped companies reduce their employee turnover. And then my days were spent responding to "Mom...I can't get the #2 off the wall." But what I do does matter. I am raising the future wives of three young men who at this very minute are playing baseball or riding their bike. And without them realizing it, those young men are trusting that I'm doing my job. I am teaching lifeskills to the future moms of my grandchildren. What I do does matter. And God does reward me and motivate me through my girls. A couple of summers back, we were enjoying a camping trip on the shore of Lake Huron. We were all playing on the beach. Rachael, who turned 11 recently, was sitting next to me and bothered by a recent wound on her leg that was healing. Watching her, I reminded her to not pick at it because it would leave a scar and jeopardize any future modeling career she was hoping for. Very seriously, she turned to me and said "I don't want to be a model. I want to be a mom." What more could I dream of than to have my kids follow me in my beloved profession?

To close, I wanted to share something that I had received through email a few years back. Some of you may have read it before. It's a condensed version of a book by Nicole Johnson. And, while I never feel as invisible as Charlotte does, the overall message never gets old for me.

I'm invisible

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a
friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this."

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with
admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it."

And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. (I see you, Tracey.) I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As women, we are building great cathedrals. Perhaps those cathedrals are in our homes...or in our workplace...or in our churches...or in our neighborhoods. And if we are doing it right, we won't be seen. God will. If we will recognize our Creator with awe and reverence...if we will allow the Holy Spirit to weave the Fruits throughout our lives...seeking to glorify God rather than ourselves...then one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the faith-driven efforts of invisible godly women.

Such a Nice Thing to Hear

The note on my Facebook "wall" said

I heard this said about you today, "She has such a heart for the Lord." and thought that you would love to know! Thanks for ALL you do.

Such a nice thing to hear about yourself. It started an interesting mix of thoughts and feelings for me as I considered it.

First of all, since we are called to be a light in the world, witnessing to others by putting our faith into action...doesn't it feel great when someone notices it? I considered all my blessings that make it so easy to have "a heart for the Lord"... a relationship with God because of the sufferings of Jesus, married to my own personal superhero, the blessing of being the mom to three beautiful girls, the world's best parents/sister/extended family (in-laws included), wonderful friends, the unearned privilege of being born in the best country in the world...and on and on and on.

But then I start analyzing...considering the comment made, am I joyful because I brought glory to God or prideful because I brought glory to myself? The analysis continues...I know what my actions and thoughts were for the entire day...am I worthy of such a comment? I know that many (if not most) of my actions or thoughts on that particular day, and even this morning, were not for the Lord.

One of the weapons that Satan will use to weaken our faith and our relationship with God is doubt. While it is true that we, as sinners, are unworthy of the precious gift of salvation, that gift was still freely given. And I have to work at focusing on the love God has for me, to make such a gift available. I can't focus on why God shouldn't love me, but do my darnedest to be worthy of His love for me...a love so strong and deep that He planned for and allowed the sacrifice of His Son for me.

And when someone gives me a little "hat tip" regarding my faith in action, maybe that's God's way of letting me know that I'm on the right track and I'm growing where I've been planted. Because it is my heart's prayer that others see less of me and more of Jesus in all I do...that I can complete the work that God has given me so that, at that appointed time, when I enter into Heaven's gates, I hear "Well done, thy good and faithful servant" (Matthew 25:21).

Other verses to consider ~ Romans 5:8, Romans 6:23, Ephesians 2:8-9

Running the Race...the Right Way

During one of our Easter Sunday services this past weekend, our pastor, Pastor Robert L. Dickie, Jr., chose Hebrews 12:1-2 as the verses on which he would teach. Wow! I learned a lot...about verses that I thought I knew. Let me clarify...if pressed, I would tell you that I was very familiar with the first verse of Hebrews 12. And if asked to summarize, I would certainly mention the great cloud of witnesses (see Hebrews 11) and that we need to run the race before us. What?! Did I miss something? Isn't that it?! I learned yesterday that that certainly was not all to that verse. Paul, the suspected author of this letter to Hebrew Christian believers, included directions on how to run the race before us. How did I miss that?! Who knows...but I must have been ready to hear it this Easter Sunday.

So, what does Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, instruct us to do to run the race set before us? Looking again at Hebrews 12:1, we see that we are instructed to lay aside every weight. In this illustration given to us by Paul, this compares to a runner taking off any unnecessary clothing or equipment prior to running. Before Pastor Dickie gave his thoughts on what this description represented, I immediately thought of the weight of worry, excuses and doubt...anything that interferes with our faith in Jesus, prevents us from putting our whole weight upon Him to overcome obstacles and accomplish the work assigned to us by God. In my personal circumstances, this is anything that I let get in the way of getting healthy or fulfilling my daily responsibilities within my home and to my family, or interfering with positive deposits I can put into the relationships in my life. As my thoughts drifted in this direction, Pastor took me in another as he began to elaborate on this little phrase...and this one is no less valid than those I had just been preoccupied by. Pastor suggested that the weight mentioned represented all those things in our life that may not be sinful themselves, but distract us from becoming all that we were designed to be. For example, why is sleep too important to interrupt for quiet time in prayer and with my Bible? What do I make a priority over doing a puzzle with the kids? Why do I choose to watch a movie instead of reading a great book? Perhaps even too much time spent at the computer. Or, as the case is with many people, am I saying "yes" to too many activities...projects at church, various lessons for the kids, etc.? Activities that spread my time, talent and attention so thin that I don't do anything well...thus hindering the opportunity to glorify God. "Weights may be good things that are keeping us from great things," our pastor taught.

This verse then tells us to set aside the sin that does so easily beset us. This is tough stuff...because it's not just saying don't kill people and don't take things that don't belong to you in the literal sense. It is saying to refrain from hatred in your heart for others, regardless of their belief systems. It is saying that we should not judge others, for we all could be judged for something. We should not gossip...we should not envy or covet the lives/belongings of others. We need to be selfless, rather than selfish. We are to strive to live lives rich with the Fruits of the Spirit (from Galatians 5:22...love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control). We are to strive to be like Jesus...always.

Finally, Hebrews 12:1 tells us to run our race with patience (from the KJV, NIV uses the term "perseverance"). How do we do that? Look at the next verse...by looking to Jesus. When times are good...look to Jesus and give thanks. When times are tough...look to Jesus and rest in Him. As Hebrews 12:2 tells us that, despite despising the shame He would experience on the cross, Jesus endured it for the joy that was set before Him...a relationship with you and me. If you fix your eyes on that reward...a relationship with the "author and finisher of our faith"...can you persevere through the hills and valleys, twists and turns of your race?

As I said earlier, I must have been ready to hear this small part of Scripture this weekend because I do not remember it from any other moment of study in my life. My prayer now is that I am also ready to act on it...and I can do so by following Paul's instructions -- lay aside the weights...do my best to lay aside my sins...stay patient and persistent by looking to Jesus.


Special thanks to Pastor Robert Dickie, Jr. for his faithfulness to teaching God's Word. His blog is found here.

Note: Photo taken by the author...from a Bible given by her mother to her grandparents in 1960.

The Invisible Woman

A couple of years ago, I received an email titled "The Invisible Woman". I was very moved by it because I can have some of "those" days and I certainly knew many individuals, men and women, who have had "those" days. I have since read the book that Nicole Johnson wrote, given away copies of it and named this blog in its honor. Today, I received an email with this video...I had no idea a video existed! So I share it with you here (A big thank you to my BFF for sending it along to me!).

If God Is In It

I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom. While it may not sound sexy to the modern world, I realize it is the single most important thing that I could and should be doing right now. After an engineering career in the automotive and service industries, I can assure you that I know that when I approach the end of my life I will not be wishing I had achieved a higher level of reliability on an assembly machine or reduced turnover in a client's plant by 10%. I will be thankful for the time with my kids and for the opportunity to make my home a haven for my husband.

That being said...there are moments in the day-to-day life of a person where you can wonder if what you are doing is really important. Your feelings can be hurt because of appreciation not shown in the manner you prefer. Now, I realize that these thoughts are not confined to home duties...plenty of people feel this way at their desk, machine and cash register today. Sometimes its easier to hide those thoughts, though, behind a title and the perceived status it imparts.

This morning, at Bible Study Fellowship (BSF), we sang a hymn that was new to me. The title is "Little Is Much If God Is In It". I loved it! It made me think of so many people that may feel like they are not doing anything important...that may get dragged down by the minutia...including me. But...if you put God into it...praying that He uses your hands and feet for His glory...whether it's wiping little runny noses...driving teenagers to the mall...cooking Hamburger Helper again...going to a job that you don't care for...you will find that the little does mean much. It means much to others and it means much to God. Remember...real JOY comes from serving Jesus, others and yourself in that order. When you don't want to do something for others...do it for the Son of God who fulfilled your biggest obligation.

I also recommend that you notice and show appreciation for those in your life that do the "little". Let them know that you are grateful for what they do for you at home. Thank your waitress who is struggling to get to the end of the long day. Thank your spouse who leaves the home to provide for the family. Be nice to the cashier and the bank teller. Anybody can be grumpy and difficult to deal with...but anybody can be pleasant and easy to work with too.

To listen to the hymn "Little Is Much If God Is In It" by Kittie L. Suffield, go here.

She's 4 Now...

I can't get to sleep tonight. No idea why...cold medicine...Emv (energy drink) consumed too late in the evening...or my brain is busy thinking about my youngest. Four years ago tonight, I was in a hospital being induced to deliver my third child. It was the end of a long road to add another roommate to our family. There was a gap between older siblings and this child due to life's dramas. The pregnancy had been filled with some drama itself and, before this day would be through, so would her entry into the world. And she has been a firecracker ever since. I believe God is sovereign and His timing is perfect. He had to hold this one in heaven for just a little while longer so that we would appreciate His gifts in her. And so that her sisters would be old enough to offer empathy rather than retaliation over some of her antics.

Last night, I asked her dad what he loved about her. His answer..."her commitment". She shows this commitment on a daily basis by her willingness to go to the mat over whatever is important to her at the time. His answer gave me some much needed perspective. You see, it has often been her commitment that has tied my day up into knots. I am not usually enthused about dueling with her over what she wears, what she eats, what she wants to do now, where she wants to go, etc. But, if I can keep a long term vision, shape her heart with the help of the Holy Spirit and the grace of God, then she will be a passionate instrument for God someday. And that's what I want for her...to fulfill the special purpose for her life as designed by God.

So, I will enjoy those curls and eyelashes. I will laugh at her songs and hang her art up on the wall. I will do puzzles with her and applaud her "Pledge of Allegiance". I will try to keep life in perspective and thoughtfully choose the "hills to die on" with her. I will remind myself to enjoy these days...slow them down...because they are fleeting.

Happy birthday to us...the birthday of being a familly of 5.

What a teeny tiny HUGE World We Live in

If you are reading this at my actual blog site and not through a feed, look up there at the top of page but below all that toolbar stuff. See where it says "Next Blog"? When you are done bouncing around my ramblings, click on it and find out where it takes you. I am always amazed! In the blink of an eye, I am whisked away to any number of places in the world...shown through pictures and languages. I may land on a blog created by some happy parents who just want to keep distant relatives up-to-date on their biological roommates. I may land on an artist's page where photos or sketches can mesmerize. Maybe it's a blog about techie stuff or political stuff. Sometimes it is inappropriate and I speedily click "Next Blog" to whisk me away and sometimes it is an absolute joy that I linger over. Today, I landed on a blog documenting the money found on the streets of New York City by a single person(you can read about it here) The blogger promises to write until $100,000 is collected...currently at $25.98. So many people with so many passions. I am reminded of the concept that we can learn something from each person we encounter because everyone is an expert at something.

I wonder what I can teach anyone.

If you are bouncing around the "Blogger" world and land here...and learn something...you are welcome. But, if you don't benefit in any way...I'm sorry. Please click on "Next Blog".

Now, if you are reading this post through a feed, you have homework. Go to the original postand read from the beginning again.

Happy Travels! Let me know what interesting blog destination you find.

They Got My Back

Well, the birthday celebration rages on...even though the big day was two days ago!!!

Today I want to give thanks for all of the special ladies in my life.

Let me start with my sister. She and I are total BFFs! While it was not always that way (you can read just one incident here), it is that way now. While we live time zones apart, we keep in touch through text messages, pictures on the phone, e-mail, Facebook and good old fashioned phone calls. Every visit is anticipated and relished. We don't necessarily agree with each other on all of life's issues, but we love and respect each other...always willing to listen and learn from each other. Jodi is creative, smart and one of the funniest people I know (second to my dad). (Pssst....don't tell her that I said any of that, ok?)


My two sisters-in-law (or is it sister-in-laws?) are two more special people that I can always count on. While I don't get the chance to spend much time with them, they are always nearby with an e-mail and a prayer. They are quick to send cards and flowers during tough times and I always learn something from them that helps me be a better mom. Remember...they were raised by one of my favorite Titus 2 women!

Then, there are all my sisters (or sistas!) that I'm not related to but could not be closer to. They too have been there in good times and bad. We encourage each other as wives, moms, teachers and followers of Christ. They have character and the courage to live that character out in their daily lives. I appreciate so much their efforts to always be working on themselves and their willingness to serve others.

I am thankful for each and every one of these special women...they have certainly played their part in building this cathedral (she's a brick...howwwse....oops! sorry! could not resist), whether they know it or not.

Three of My Best Friends

They are a collection of giggles, freckles, curls and eyelashes. Each one is different from the other two in countless ways...interests...sensitivities...sense of humors (or is it senses of humor?). God uses them each day to teach me something about others and myself. And it is my pleasure, privilege and blessing to spend each day with them as we learn about the Creation together.

When I consider my own friendship with my sister and my mom, I look forward to what the future holds for us and our relationship...just don't rush me. I am enjoying being employed in the oldest profession...motherhood.

My Cinco de Mayo Baby

We welcomed our second roommate nine years ago yesterday. It is amazing how fast nine years can zoom by...I am always worried about whether I am making the most of the time I have with my girls. I know that I fail often...always getting lost in the urgent over the important. One of life's toughest battles. Maybe that is one of the purposes of birthday commemorations...to remind us how fast time flies so that we can get back on track with the important. At age 9, it is entirely possible that she has hit that halfway mark of living at home with us. I may have used up half of my time with her already. My worry for obstacles she will face escalates. My excitement as she pursues God's plan for her life multiplies. The emotions of being a parent.

Please indulge me while I mark her ninth birthday by sharing some of the things that make her special.

While pregnant with Rachael, I was sick until I reached the 18 week mark. Until that point, the only thing that regularly sounded good to me was a chili cheese burrito from Taco Bell. Jeff wanted me to eat so badly, it was not unusual for him to get me one on our way to some place and then get me another one on the way home. It's funny to me now, because I would not consider her as high of maintenance as her early influences on my life would indicate.

While we were very nervous parents at the birth of our first daughter, we experienced calmness when Rachael was born. We knew by this point that we could at least get this new little life to the age of 28 months (her sister's age when Rachael was born). We would survive. And she was such a pleasant baby...just as she is now.

Rachael is very creative and imaginative (is that redundant?). Probably since the age of 3, when she gained access to scissors, she has made abstract shapes from paper, decorating them to be the characters of the scripts playing in her head. She is our own little Aerial (from "The Little Mermaid")...always attracted to little treasures, whether it was a tag found on the floor at a store or a cool rock. Cleaning her room always yields surprises. That creativity continues today...she recently won two Grand Champion designations, a First Place ribbon and the Overall Grand Champion award for our homeschool group's art fair.

She has a wonderful...subtle...sense of humor. Last summer, while camping, she was drying the breakfast dishes for me. She accidentally dropped a plate. Dirt clung to the spots that were still wet. She looked at me and calmly said "You missed a spot". She makes me laugh often.

She is our girly one. She notices outfits...loves accessories...plans what she will wear for special events. And while she does care, she is not hard to please. I will say she has nothing to wear before she will. She loves makeup (she would wear it now, if she were allowed)...having her nails painted. She looks forward to having her hair "tie-dyed" -- I do worry about what that means exactly, but I think she just means highlighted or colored.

She's not afraid of athletic activity...she will go along with the plan. But she knows what she likes and doesn't like. For example, after completing her first year of soccer... which she attended and participated in with a wonderful attitude...she informed us that "one medal was enough" after receiving her year-end award. On another occasion, she told me that she didn't care for gym class because it made her sweat.

She is becoming more and more theatrical...impersonating others...participating in our homeschool group's musical production...pretending to be movie stars with her friends when I drive them.

As I said at the beginning of this article, I often worry whether I am living up to God's expectations of my role as a mom to these three special girls. Last summer, Rachael did give me some reassurance. We were sitting on the beach at Lake Huron. Rachael was picking at a scab on her knee. I told her she should leave it alone because scarred legs would ruin her future of being a runway model (something that would not surprise me). She looked at me seriously and said "I don't want to be a model. I want to be a mom."

Happy Birthday, Rachael! While your birthday is special, I celebrate every day with you. I love you and I thank you for making me want to be a better me.

Building Cathedrals? What?!

I thought I better start by explaining the title of this blog. Last year I received an email with the essay shown below. I have since learned that this is from a book called The Invisible Woman by Nicole Johnson. I was very moved by the essay because there are certainly days that I wonder if I've made any progress or done anything productive. God knows just when to reward me through the words and actions of others, though.

I believe that I am building cathedrals -- currently my three girls. But I also hope to play the part of a minor artisan in the lives of others whose path I cross. I want to take this opportunity, while we are on the subject, to thank all those builders who have been showing up to this construction site (me) for years. All that I have learned from my mom, grandmother, mother-in-law, sister, sisters-in-law, aunts and my girlfriends have helped me lay the foundations of my cathedrals.



I'm Invisible

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.